How to Plan the Perfect Party for a Child with Autism
Planning a party for a child with autism might seem like an uphill battle. However, if you take things one step at a time, the work that goes into planning a party for a child with autism is not much different than planning any other child's party. We have gathered tips and tricks from other parents and medical professionals to help you plan the perfect party for a child on the autistic spectrum.
Consider Your Child's Needs
Before you start planning, you need to think about your child's specific needs. You should ask yourself:
What do they like?
What do they dislike?
What are some things that could cause a meltdown?
Don't worry about making this party look similar to other parties. This should be a fun and safe place for your child to go. Don't push your child into a situation that would make them uncomfortable.
An adult with ASD shared how birthday parties made them feel uncomfortable when they were a child. "My parents used to throw me huge parties when I was little," the poster said. "I would spend weeks worrying and dreading about my birthday only to spend the whole day hiding my stims, stutter and anything else that is 'weird' the best I can."
This party is for your child, not for you. If they don't like big crowds, invite friends over to watch a movie and eat cupcakes. Have a lowkey birthday.
Choose the Guest List Carefully
If your child would rather have a traditional-styled birthday party, remember that you are not obligated to invite every person your child knows.
Here are some things to consider when trying to figure out a guest list:
How well the guests know your child. Do the guests know whether or not your child can handle loud noises? Do they know what it means when your child starts stimming? They don't have to know everything about your child. You could include the basic things that can overwhelm your child in the invitation. This will let them know what to avoid during the party.
How well the guests understand autism. Other parents who have a child on the autism spectrum will be more likely to know when your child needs to take a break or if they need to stop the party altogether.
Size of the venue. If the party is being held in a small space, only a few guests will make the area seem crowded.
What if No One Shows Up To Your Child's Birthday?
If you invite your child's entire class to the party, there will likely be several kids that won't show up. Instead of inviting a bunch of kids that do not particularly have a close relationship with your child, consider inviting:
Close family members
Friends that have a close relationship with your child
To avoid hosting a party in an empty venue, invite people that genuinely care about your child. The guests should be people that would legitimately be sad if no one attended your child's birthday.
Another strategy that you could try is to set your sights a little wider. For example, instead of inviting the kids in your child's class, invite children of all age groups that live nearby.
Cathleen O'Grady is a mother of an autistic child. She detailed what she did after no one from her son Casey's class attended his birthday party. The following year, she decided to invite a "truckload of neighbors and friends and their kids." She went on to say that the house was filled with people having a good time. And even though only two kids from Casey's class ended up attending the party, he ended up having a great time because "it was full of people of all ages who know, love and accept him as the incredible human being that he is."
Prepare Your Child for a Schedule Change
If your child does not like their daily routine to change, prepare them for the schedule change in advance. For example, let them know if their lunchtime will be a little earlier than usual, or if bathtime will be later on that day.
Quickly switching activities can be difficult for a child on the autism spectrum. The Indiana Resource Center for Autism published an article by Dr. Kara Hume entitled "Transition Time: Helping Individuals on the Autism Spectrum Move Successfully from One Activity to Another." While this article gives general information about transition strategies, there are some key aspects that can be applied to your child's birthday.
Hume notes that "verbal information may not be quickly processed or understood" by people with ASD. To notify your child of the upcoming transition, consider using visual cues instead.
1. Photos and Drawings
Prepare your child for the many transitions that they will have to go through by showing them pictures and drawings of the activities. Put the pictures in the order that they will occur during the party. You should place these photos in a central location so that your child can look at them often and understand what is coming up next.
2. Create a "Finished" Box
Find a shoebox or other small container and write "Finished" on it. Once your child has completed one activity, place the photo of that activity into the finished box. This will allow your child to see that the activity is over physically.
3. Set a Timer
A visual timer will allow your child to know exactly how long they have until they move to the next activity.
Keep the Mood Calm
There are many fun activities that won't cause your child to have a sensory overload. Some sensory-friendly activities include:
Puzzles
Board Games
Draw a Picture
Create Something with Play-Dough
Your child's sensory issues should also be considered when it comes to decorating for the party. You may want to eliminate some of the usual party decorations, including:
Balloons that can easily pop
Bright, flickering candles
A centerpiece that plays music
Keep it simple and ask your child what they would like. Then, if they are able, let them pick out the birthday banner, streamers, table cloth, and any other decorations that they would like to include.
